careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
