Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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