I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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