I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
