the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
