2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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