i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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