also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
