My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
