Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
