I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize