Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
