I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm always down for nudity.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
