How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm too high and old for this...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
