Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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