Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
