The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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