omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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