thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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