My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
