She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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