Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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