Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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