Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize