mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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