I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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