I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
