He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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