"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
When are your genitals available?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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