i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
