I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my being single is dangerous.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
