so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
