Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
