They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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