and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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