Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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