i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
