I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
