He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
