had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
