Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
