shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
