"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
