I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
