she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize