Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize