Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
