she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
