okay pat passed out under dana's car
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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