"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i wish my penis had a tongue
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
