We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
