Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
