Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
