one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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