What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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