I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize