Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
