this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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