look no pants
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
