oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
