do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
