maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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