i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
