i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVEâ€
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
