Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
