My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
