so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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