whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
