Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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