it hurts more in the daytime
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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