I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
