I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
