Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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